Bless his heart he carries all these animals around like they are his best friends.
I’ve never really talked about it before on the blog. The desire and want to expand our family of three. The truth is I’m so torn and not sure what to do. I want to be thankful for our one perfect angel from Heaven. It took us so long to have him & I’m not sure how long it would take to have another.
I didn’t have a glowing & beautiful pregnancy. I hated being pregnant. Gained over 70 pounds and had a 10 lb kiddo. I had horrid nausea in the first trimester…so bad I didn’t know how I was going to get up out of bed all day. The thought of going through all of that again scares me. It’s totally worth it….but it scares me.
Connor is growing into such a fun little boy. Sometimes I feel guilty because he is so needy and he desires a connection with other kids. He’s told me before he would love a brother or sister. I don’t quite know how to answer that?
Then there is the financial aspect of having another baby. We’ve pretty much rid our household of all things baby related, so we’d have to re-purchase everything. The cost of having a child in a hospital is super expensive (my insurance ain’t what it used to be!) and we certainly couldn’t afford two kids in daycare. I know we can make sacrifices and make it work, but that would be so hard!
After we had him and experienced the endless nights of no sleep we told each other maybe this is it? This is about all we can handle. Lets face it, we are selfish parents and 100 % guilty of putting him in front of a TV in order to have some personal time. We don’t read to him like we should, or do a lot of things like we “should”. So with that comes a lot of guilt….can we give TWO enough time if we can’t give one child what he needs right now?
How do you do it? How do you make time for yourself while still providing that attention to your child….let alone two, or three, or four? Maybe I’m just drawing a blank because I just don’t know.
I had my annual “lady visit” a couple of weeks ago. She kindly let me know that I was getting up there in age and once I reach 35 I’ll be considered high risk. In my heart I would LOVE to have another child. It’s the best, most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. My husband is a planner, spreadsheets, and worry wart-whom I love dearly and am grateful for those qualities by the way! How do we start to get on the same page? I don’t want to look back 10 years from know and be resentful and wonder “what if?”
How do you know? How do you manage?
I’m lost here and just looking for advice and encouragement on the subject…because right now my heart is torn & very uncertain.
Thank you friends…..xo Becky