My Child is a Part of My Life – Not my Entire Life

D7K_6513When I say that my child is a part of my life, not my entire life I say that with pure and utter honesty.  We all struggle to find that balance in motherhood.  Once you have your first child, then it’s “When are you having another?”  A couple years later when you DO have another child (if it’s the same-sex as the first child) they ask “Are you going to try for a GIRL?”  It’s so easy to lose your identity in motherhood.

You’ve gotta find your happy place and live in it.  Own it.  Count your blessings one by one.  It’s not a contest, it’s not a game, and we aren’t competing against each other.  I’m happy with my moderately sized home, being a working mom, and my one baby boy.  If having 7 kids and being a stay at home wife/mother is your calling then by golly go and do it!  Whatever trips your trigger honey…..Just do it!

Everyone is different and each family has specific needs of their own.  So, when I say that my child is a part of my life and not my ENTIRE life I want you to understand why I’m saying that.  I have so many friends who have begun to identify themselves through the lives of their children.  It’s okay, you’re a Mom, and your child is a major part of your everyday life.  Just don’t forget about yourself in the process.   Ask yourself:  What did you love growing up?  What were your hobbies, dreams, and desires?  Just because you’ve become a mother doesn’t mean you have to give up all your hopes and dreams and put them on the back burner.  It’s okay to go after your dreams.  It’s okay to not feel guilty about doing that!  Shocker I know….

If you are married talk to your spouse & communicate what the desires of your heart are.  He may be surprised to find out what you are really thinking.  Once you hit “Mom-Mode” it’s easy for everyone around you to identify you as just a Mom & forget everything else you are cabable of.  I’m Becky, a wife, friend, photographer, artist, baker, funny gal, AND a Mom too 🙂

I love waking up every morning to my crazy 3-year-old.  He’s no ray of sunshine…ha ha!  But he’s mine, and I’m forever grateful God chose me to be his Mama.  I also know that God has SO much more in store for me than just motherhood.  I don’t want to lose myself it an identity crisis & think that’s the only thing I’m good at or capable of.  In the land of Mom blogs it’s refreshing to me to find a non-mom blog and read about more than just diapers and DIY projects.  I am also guilty of this….just saying……

I went to dinner with a good friend last week.  She’s 32, single, never married, and no kids.  She said to me “Thank you for spending time with me and hanging out.”  I said to her “What do you mean?”  She then went on to tell me that she felt like a lot of friends our age have stopped hanging out with her because she’s single and has no kids, they assume she wouldn’t want to.  The truth is she LOVES kids and just wants to be included and hang out too.    This made me feel so bad for her & I realized that this is SO true!  We seclude so many people in our lives because they aren’t walking the same path we’re on & in the process missing out on incredible things!  Can you believe that???

I’m happy with who I am.  God has truly had His hand over my life.  I’m grateful for every single second.  I love being and wife and mom.  Those things are the cherry on top of everything else.  But, there’s so much more to me than being a Mom.  So, Connor, I want you to know I love you….and you’re a part of my life….and probably the best part ever….but you aren’t my entire life.  The only way I can be the best Mama to you is staying true to myself and my heart by pursuing my own dreams and desires.  That way Mama & Daddy can be the best for you in return.  I hope one day you’ll do the same my love!  Pursue your hearts desires and live every day to the fullest….and know you were the best part ever. – Love Mama

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7 thoughts on “My Child is a Part of My Life – Not my Entire Life

  1. As a 36 year old single woman, thank you. I feel like so many of my friends have pulled away because I do not have children. I really would love to spend time around their kids. I miss my friends and it’s lonely and hard for us single girls. I bet it meant even more to your friend than you realize.

  2. As another single person in my thirties, I can relate to the other commenters too. As I get older more and more of my friends are mothers. It’s sad but my relationship with them changes as a result. It’s nice to hear your perspective, Becky. I know my friends don’t want to just be seen as ‘mommies’ and maybe they need some adult away time too. Thanks!
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  3. Oh, I’ve had that SAME experience! I’m 31 and my boyfriend is in the Navy stationed in Califoria (I’m in MN). And so often I won’t get invited to things because he’s not here and it’s a “couples” thing. I would much rather come along and risk feeling like a 3rd or 5th or 7th wheel than sit at home alone each night!

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