Loves & Growing Pains

I still remember the very first Valentine’s Day Terence and I had together.  We had only been dating a few short months.  I still wasn’t so sure about him.  We were both so young and in school.  Yet, he continued to pursue me and woo me at every turn.

My best friend Sara and I went shopping for Valentine’s Day outfits to wear with our boyfriends to the Olive Garden for a date.  I chose a light pink v-neck shirt with a black skirt.  I still remember that outfit….it’s so funny the little things you remember. 

We pulled around the corner of the college campus that night and there Terence was sitting on the bench.  He stood up holding 3 yellow roses.  We had a nice dinner and then later we exchanged gifts.  He had brought me some Godiva chocolates from when he went home to Texas for Christmas break.  We didn’t have Godiva STORES in Arkansas!  I was in heaven 🙂

I got him some fun little things as well and then I wrote “I Love You” in glow in the dark stars on the wall in his dorm room.  That’s the first time we both said “I Love You”.  I’ll always remember that. 

Over the years marriage has had it’s highs and lows.  Right now we are both stressed out and tired due to work or other things going on…..I miss the carefree feeling of when you are first dating someone.  That is a feeling that lasts forever. 

I also think it’s something that so many people lose and try to re-capture.  Hence, divorce is so prevalent in today’s world.  I would hate to feel those emotions and go through that journey with anyone but Terence…..the one God chose for me.

If you can make it through the mountains and valleys together then the other side of the mountain is so rewarding.

So here we are almost 14 years later.  I can’t say our marriage is as passionate as I would like it to be, or I’m even where I thought we would be.  Life has taken us down so many paths….but I know this is where we are supposed to be.  Together, until death do us part.  For better or worse.

I am glad to have Terence by my side to support me, love me, he is loyal, and would do anything for me and Connor.  Sometimes I wish he would enjoy the little moments instead of always projecting or spread sheeting for the future.  I know what he does is good in the long term….but I know we aren’t promised tomorrow and the days go by so quickly. 

I kiss him goodbye in the morning and don’t see him again until dinner.  The same with Connor.  There has to be more than this right?  I feel void and null some days just trying to get through.  Living the life and moving through the motions without really feeling them.  There has to be more than that?  God can and will sustain our marriage.  He can and will yours too.

Do you ever feel like you’re on a hamster wheel?  I want to live life, but not only live it….I want to feel it and be present.  Right now I am not.  I know this.  My fear and anxiety paralyze me.  The person I am in my head and my heart is not who I am showing to the outside world. 

God give me the boldness and heart to be what You would have me to be to others.  The wife You would have me be for Terence.  The Mom You would have me be for Connor.  The daughter, sister, and so on….

What do you do to maintain that spark?  Fill a void?  Feel when you are lost?

(I’m not saying all this because anything is wrong….it isn’t!  I’m just expressing my feelings & hoping to get input from others)
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 These are some loves of mine 🙂

I’m a very visual person, probably why I love photos so much…but they ignite memories and I love that!

Our first little vacay together in Branson (sitting in the love chair)
Terence was LOVABLE.  I was TEASER. Ha ha!!! (Year 2000)
I got this cute little burlap Valentine’s Day banner for $7? on a flash sale site! I love it!
Connor’s cute little Valentine cards from Little Laws Prints 

I have a hankering to make these puppies…but they are NOT on my Biggest Loser diet…hello???

I love this heart.  It’s just paper.  Wish someone would show me how to make it???  I don’t think I’d buy for $45 smackers.

Valentine poms…..ahhhhhh
Godiva truffles aka the key to my beloved heart
Also a nice purse or bling….ya know I am a girlie girl!

Another thing I love to do when I am by myself is drive around and look in random neighborhoods at houses.  I just love looking at HOUSES???  Does that make me weird or stalkerish is some way?  I just think they are pretty…..also I’m obsessed with HGTV and home makeover shows, but that’s another story. 

Don’t you adore those windows?
Mediterranean architecture is so pretty

I love Connor’s baby curls…if I start to look at baby pictures for too long then I’ll get the fever.  Ugh I miss is…..but I don’t miss those sleepless nights!

First Valentine’s Day
he’s so little…..
My lil decor on the counter there 🙂

So what are your Valentine’s plans?

 

Is anyone doing any fun V-day link ups? 

 

I’m excited to make a Valentine day card box for Connor’s pre-school.  I used to love decorating those when I was a kid.  Remember making those in elementary school and cutting a hole in the top?  Ahhhh memories…….

 

Okay now off to bed or to get coffee…..whatevs.

 

Muah!

 Becky

 

Hump Day Randoms…

This is our 5th year to work the Fort Worth Stock Show and Rodeo.  It’s always a lot of fun and we get to hang out with our good friends.  The bank I work for has a mascot named “Mo” the buffalo.  He shows up at the Stock Show on Saturdays.  If you are there come by and see us between 10:45-1:00!  Connor likes seeing all the animals.  This year he was really looking forward to seeing the pigs. 
I ordered this belt awhile back on Groopdealz and I’m hoping they bring it back because it’s so cute and inexpensive.  It also comes in a lot of different colors.

 Checking out the cows
 Dylan & Connor playing in the trailer 🙂
 MO…the friendliest buffalo you’ll ever know…

Bree is Mo’s Mama.  She’s also Mama to baby Millie & Dylan.  She rides him and she’s just an all around awesome gal!

 The boys liked to jump off the trailer
 Me and Bree
(Bad hair day!)

Connor is getting used to our morning routine.  He’s not cried once this week when I’ve dropped him off at pre-school.  He showed me his cubby.  He is very proud of his cubby 🙂

 Here is the helper chart
 Eating breakfast in the little cafeteria room

 I love his pre-school because it has an OWL theme!!!  Ha ha!  You know how I feel about that!

 Connor checking out the tractors at the Stock Show

And last but not least…..Hubba Bubba Dr. Pepper gum.  If you are craving a Pepper I’m positive this is less calories and you’ll get your Dr. Pepper fix 😉

 
I’m going to go through and read all the Biggest Loser Links hopefully sometime today.  I’ve been slammed at work this week.  I usually try to read them during my lunch hour.  For some reason if you have an embedded comment form under your post it won’t let me comment on your blog???  It’s blocked.  If you have a pop up comment form I CAN.  Weird I know.  You can change that in settings or you can also connect your email to your Blogger account which is VERY nice 🙂

 

Biggest Loser Week 4

Thank you so much if you are still with me today! 

 

I’ve been slammed today and it’s just been one of those times where I can’t seem to get anything done.  Not to mention I didn’t do so hot last week as far as weight loss.  I mean I didn’t do bad….but I did gain a pound *shutter*.  I don’t want to back peddle here???  With February approaching and the candy isles filling up with chocolates I’ve got to have some willpower.  I have.  I’m not saying I’m sitting there gnawing on a candy bar all day.  I just need to be cautious of my eating. 
 
Some of you have asked how I liked the Paleo diet.  We did that awhile back with great results.  I don’t eat meat.  I will on “occasion” have a chicken breast…but for the most part I am not a meat eater.  The Paleo was a bit hard for me because it is very much protein based.  I get most of my protein from other sources: black beans, cheese, Greek yogurt, nuts, dairy…etc.
 
I think life is going to slow down for a minute.  I am not even thinking about Connor’s 3rd birthday, and by now I usually have some things in order.  I don’t even know if we will have a party.  We aren’t doing a major vacation this year.  This is our year to pay down debt and by Nov/Dec we will hopefully be DEBT FREE!  How freeing is that!  (I’m trying to be excited about this ya’ll!)  Har har har…..
 
Well, and I don’t want to be the fat mom with back rolls taking her kid to the water park.  You know it’s about that time because Connor is at the age he likes to do stuff like that.  Dreadful water parks!
 
The only other thing more freeing than being debt free will be freedom from this extra tire around my waist.  I’ve not been motivated at all this week.  Work overload+stress. 
 
How are you all doing???
 
 Week 4:  + 1 pound