I have to admit at times I feel overwhelmed. Lately I have questioned why I keep this blog. In the beginning…way back in 2006 when I first started blogging it was for fun. I think a whole two people read it! I enjoyed reading other people’s journals about their lives and I still do.
Lately I have been feeling stressed out with all the blogging, picture taking, Twittering, Facebooking….blah..blah..blah….it has become something I feel like I need to do instead of something I want to do.
My husband and baby should not have to ask me to get off the phone or computer to spend time with them. I should want to do it. And I realize I have been spending a lot more time in front of the computer & having my hand practically surgically attached to my phone rather than spending quality time with them. I find myself constantly thinking “What would everyone think if I wrote this?” or “Would this please the people that read my blog?” Instead I should be writing and taking pictures for myself and my own family and because I want to. I want to write about things I want instead of what I think others would want to hear.
I’ve always been hard on myself. Some might say I am a little bit OCD 😛 I have felt guilt over the past year because I have not been as active commenting and replying to emails as I should have. But I know you all understand why….if you really know me, then you know I care and I still love you anyway.
With this new year I want to spend less time on the computer, phone, and TV….more quality time watching my son learn, loving my husband, and growing in the Lord. I am not perfect and I am only doing the best I can do day by day. I struggle to get my house cleaned, the dishes washed, laundry done, dinner cooked, and even shaving my legs! I have a hard time prioritizing things and using my time wisely. Over the past year I have struggled with anxiety and depression because I put so much pressure on myself. I am ready to let go of the bricks I have weighing my shoulders down….relax….and enjoy the gifts that God has given me. I praise the Lord every day for this life, my family, friends, our house, great jobs, and food on the table…even if it is a frozen pizza 🙂 God is good. God is SO good.
You are my angel. Everything I ever wanted and dreamed of. I know at times I get frustrated and stressed…but I hope you know everything I do is for you and Daddy. I love my boys so much!