As the date draws nearer for baby Connor’s arrival my mind is full of lots of things. Thoughts of his future and hopes and dreams for his life. I am excited and nervous all at the same time…am I prepared for this journey? I think back over the last 8 1/2 Terence and I have been married and I see how God has prepared us for this new adventure.
I cannot IMAGINE having this baby when we first started out as a married couple, but now I see that all those trials were to prepare us for our future. There were times when we only had $20 in our checking account and we had one car between us for a couple years while in the military. Those are the times that make or break you…and they make you stronger as a couple. You learn about each other in ways you never thought you would, some good traits and some bad. You live through those times and learn how to better yourself for each other and your child some day.
I never “imagined” myself as a mother or how it would be. Terence and I both had goals and ambitions for our lives individually and as a married couple. A child at the time would have only prolonged those goals or even prevented them from happening at all. I saw everyone around me starting to have babies….and my heart opened up to the idea a little bit year after year. When we finally started to try and have a baby it became difficult and some times very discouraging…I began to wonder if I was not cut out for this role. If something was wrong with me? Maybe Terence and I were never meant to be parents after all?
I look back now and think of all the times we had together just the two of us and those moments are so precious. All those years in the military, and school, and working so hard…how every event that has happened thus far was to prepare us for now. The good times and the bad times were all worth it to get to this point. All the waiting and the years of patience were worth every bit! I didn’t think like this then, but I do now. Everything I wanted to happen on my terms didn’t happen the way I ever thought (I am very impatient!)…and it’s a good thing! Life would have been SO much different on my terms, God has his own timing for you and his own plans for you. He knows what’s best and we don’t. God has PERFECT timing…so just when you think nothing is going your way and your plans will never be fulfilled, just remember to be patient and believe that God’s ultimate plan for you is waaaaay better than your own!
XOXO – Becky